“I’m home, dear. The train was late.”
Silence. More silence. Strange.
Note on the kitchen table.
She’s left me!
She even says there isn’t another man – was I so hard to live with?
Why didn’t she say?
“What’s happened, Dad?”
She’s gone, had enough, she says.
No, don’t know where.
Alright, you can watch Neighbours.
Yes, I know your mum doesn’t let you.
Pizza – your favourite!
Go to bed, I need to think.
Come on, get up! You’ll be late!
School uniform –where, dammit?
Packed lunch – cola and crisps
Shit, she’s taken the car.
Call the office, let them know – No, don’t, too embarrassing.
Got to think.
Silence. More silence. Hear my own thoughts.
Was I so bad?
Why didn’t I see the signs?
What could I have done? (Too late now.)
Mmm, maybe I didn’t listen enough.
I never gave her time.
But my work was so important.
I had to work hard, didn’t I?
There was a time when we loved.
May Balls, candlelit dinners,
Before the boys,
A long long time ago.
Then family holidays, Bridport.
Laughing and splashing,
The boys were small then.
Time passed, we just grew apart.
She had her girlfriends,
I had my computer.
Further and further apart.
I should have seen it coming.
If only I’d seen it coming…..
Mind far away, daren’t dream it might be her.
But it is.
Chris Moller, 19th May 2005.